Multiple messages have confirmed that if desired one will be available. All one has to do is register the need with the employer and the need, in a highly unusual twist of fate, will be met. Under the guise of reaching herd immunity and to achieve a level of public relations that will come with marketable boasting rights, a spot has been reserved to do ones part. To play ones role in this great drama of our times. So say the leaders while celebrating elites escaping the planet. Are we all in the same play?
The exclusivity of the reserved spot in line is taking a toll on the conscience. This is not the first or even second world of over abundance. This is not go-down-the-street-to-any-place at any time if and when you feel like it. This is not have your choice of a range of options. Constrained by embassy donations masked in altruism and whatever the government decides or can afford to buy, the numbers and spots in line are limited. At least for now, maybe for the near future. The only thing certain in these parts of the world is that the devil, in whatever form, always comes to collect. These days the devil is coming for souls.
In the limitation, choices are made about who needs it or who will receive it or who is connected the most given society’s tendency to hide the hand of the powerful. Lists are made. No one really knows who makes these lists or how one gets to be included. Politicians, doctors, religious leaders, businessmen and their families jumped ahead in line. The early scramble seemed to reveal implicit fears of dying while showcasing explicit class solidarity. The haves were going to survive the virus legitimately or not. As we all know or should know by now, lists only apply to the masses. The elderly got left behind. When nurses went on strike to call attention to rollout injustices that did not prioritize them, the media showed their protest as untimely and callous. Then the teachers were given a spot in line so schools could eventually open because disobedient children out of daily routines and not trained in rote memorization could spell trouble for the state.
But what is really happening? The state is deciding not just who gets a spot in line. The state is deciding whose lives matter. Maybe this is the actual price of underdevelopment by virtue of colonialism. Maybe this has always been the price. Each spot that is filled means another life is pushed back or ignored or cast away or made invisible. Every shot administered means someone goes without. This is, after all, life in what Vijay Prashad calls the “crippled” project that is the Third World. Doubts remain about whether there will be enough for everyone. That is everyone without reservations or qualifications or connections or designations of worthiness. Certainly few seem to expect a second dose after the gift of a first. But then again when has the state ever cared for everyone?
Ultimately playing or not playing the role ends the same way: guilt. Did someone need it more? Has someone’s loved one been waiting longer? How many ran out of time while the scene was staged? How many eyes closed during the performance? Who will help appease this guilt at curtain call?